“I challenge you to a game! Or, rather, I am inviting you, the reader, to play a game with me, the psychologist, a game of Snakes and Ladders. Now I know you feel you `grew out' of that game years ago, You might want to read no further, saying that you don't feel like playing childish games.
“First of all, let me tell you that we are going to play the game in a completely new way. We will even change the board somewhat. Secondly, to start to turn our snakes into ladders, we need to look again at some of our childish `games’. You might change, in a positive way, at least some of the things in your life; whatever you truly want to change.”
How to Turn Your
Snakes into Ladders” is a practical guide, operating at many levels. Its aim is
to give the reader both insights and tools to live life at a more optimal and
fulfilling level……This book contains the result of many years of accumulated
experience and wisdom. This is a valuable and practical self-help resource that
should assist people …..in a humorous and insightful manner.”
(Dr. Michael Berk. Associate Professor .
Dept. of Psychiatry. University of the Witwatersrand.
Johannesburg. S.A.)
Although this book has been written in a
Jewish context, its words and concepts speak to everyone.
How to Turn Your Snakes into Ladders, was originally
published by Targum Press in 1999. It
was then republished by myself on an independent publishing platform.
Two editions were published. One stuck exactly to the
original and the second was lightly edited and enlarged.
Just a taste of what the book contains…
FANTASY OUR OTHER SIDE
You are at a dinner to raise funds for a Jewish educational
institution. You have been listening to several speakers, eaten far more than you
usually would on a weekday evening, caught up on all the latest news, and are feeling somewhat
drowsy.
On the table is the card you received upon entering. In the bottom
left-hand corner is the number 277. The top left-hand corner, presumably with the same number, has
been torn off.
Just
then someone stands up and makes the announcement
that the guests should look at their cards and note their number. After the next round of music he is going
to announce the lucky winner of five
thousand dollars.
You check your number again and listen to the music. It
is a meditative tune, and you let the melody envelop your mind. As the
music fades, the master of ceremonies approaches the microphone and clears his
throat. He is going to announce the winner! He pushes his hand into the depths of a
large box and studies the corner of the card he has taken out.
He makes the announcement slowly and deliberately.
"The winner of the five thousand dollars is….ticket
number...277."
You draw in your breath sharply. You look at your
ticket, aware
that your face has become a fiery red. You put up your hand, quite sure that at least ten other people in the hall must have the same number.
The man repeats
the number. Once more you look down at the card. Yes, it says most
definitely 277.
You stand up and move slowly to the front of the hall,
already, in your mind, spending the money on all kinds of things. You check the number
over and over, and with a sudden rush of
paranoia you look over your shoulder to make sure no one is planning to steal your card and run off with it.
You are approaching the front. People are cheering. You will soon be
there to receive your prize. It is almost within your grasp.
But
then you come back to yourself, and you realize that you are still seated at your table. The music is still playing, and they have yet to announce the winner. You
realize that you did not win the five
thousand dollars.
You have been daydreaming, indulging in a flight of fancy.
We all go on them.
Most of us feel that we have at least a few thoughts and
emotions other people couldn't possibly have, fantasies we would never admit to, even to those
closest to us,
little thoughts that come into our minds just at the wrong moment.
Our minds
have the habit of thinking the oddest things at
the oddest moments, things we would not dream of thinking about. Let me give you an example:
One of your best friends
calls to say he has just been given a senior position in his firm. He
is ecstatic. His financial problems have
been solved. He calls to tell you because you are his friend, and he
wants to share the news with you.
He expects you to be happy for him. And you are
happy, you really are. He is your best
friend, and you want the best for him.
But a thought creeps in from nowhere and
whispers,
I hope it doesn't
work out. He'll be disappointed, but he'll get over it.
And then, shocked and
horrified, you think:
How could I possibly have thought that? Of course I want him to be
successful!
And then another thought
comes.
But it's a pity. Now he won't be
struggling anymore. And we were struggling together.
You berate yourself for
your disloyalty to your friend. And you
begin to wonder: Was he really such a good friend? Do I really like
him?
Yes, he was and still is
a friend, and you did and still do have love and affection for
him. But very few things are totally pure
in this world, and mixed with that love and affection are all kinds of
jealousies and insecurities, which might be
only a very small percentage of the relationship.
They come out in these odd thoughts.
Nevertheless, it does not detract from
the very deep and genuine love you have for him.
TABLE OF
CONTENTS
1
|
Snakes and Ladders
|
2
|
Return Tripping
|
3
|
Fantasy:
Our Other Side
|
4
|
Sifting the Past for Anger
|
5
|
Coping with Stress and Tension
|
6
|
Burnout
|
7
|
Stress and Tension within the Home
|
8
|
The Black Depressive Trip
|
9
|
Guilt
Trips
|
10
|
The Victim
|
11
|
Negative Words
|
12
|
Regaining an
identity
|
13
|
Disability- A
unique Opportunity
|
14
|
The Psychology of the Jew
|
15
|
Snakes and Ladders Again
|
16
|
Bibliography
|
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